What would it look like to try something different?
Who can honestly say they couldn’t benefit from self-improvement? Most of us are dissatisfied with at least one area of our lives. We know there’s always room for improvement, but we also know we can get along fine just the way we are. This may be true for some, but did you know a common reason we rationalise in this way is that psychologically, change is uncomfortable? Whether or not the outcome is for the better, the unknown can be scary. Deep down though who wouldn’t really want to be more satisfied and happier? How much is not allowing yourself to be better costing you?
A winner is a loser who tried more times – Jay Shetty
4 drivers, 3 d’s
As humans we have developed four common drives: to acquire, bond, learn, and defend. In this era that can look like the following: to have more stuff, to hook up with more Tinder dates, to listen to more Ted Talks, to justify our right to eat meat (my vegan husband’s contribution). These drives dictate our thoughts, feelings, and actions but when not satisfied cause us the 3 d’s – distress, discomfort and discontent. When put into context it’s conceivable why we’d want to be better and outdo others or ourselves. Whether it’s through achievement or possessions it can be challenging to feel happy and content as we are. A contradictory state of on the one hand resisting change, whilst simultaneously desiring the outcomes of change.
Ever felt underwhelmed or empty after getting what you thought you’d always wanted, or what you were convinced was going to make you happy? Coaching helps you to learn and realise what is important to you, how best to achieve this, and how to recognise and enjoy your achievement once reached.
Reasons to have a Life Coach
Typical reasons to have a Life Coach can be anything from very specific to abstract. Life coaching can help you:
- Clarify important areas in your life
- Evaluate how satisfied you are in these areas
- Figure out what you need to feel content
- Start doing it
- Be happier
- Satisfy your drives
- Feel confident
- Gain and maintain independence
- Achieve balance
- Enjoy your life
Looking for answers and results
If you’re looking for answers and results life coaching can help you tap into your own abilities and utilise this. For the best results, you need to be prepared to do the work. When you do you’ll find that you hold your own answers.
The benefits of life coaching are similar to the benefits of working with a personal trainer. Achieving your body-fitness goals is possible on your own, but it will take considerably longer and with no one to hold you accountable and keep you motivated, is likely to be abandoned. As your life coach, I’ll challenge and push (or shove) you out of your comfort zone, holding you accountable for your actions, or lack thereof.
Some clients are already flush with motivation and drive, but simply feel they have exhausted all options or have burnt out for working too hard. Coaching provides a unique space to be listened to and really heard. No matter how self-reflective or proactive you may be, if you feel like something is missing or you can’t quite get where you want to be on your own – get a life coach. Just as doctors need doctors, even life coaches need life coaches.
Life coaching isn’t therapy
Life coaching is not counselling or psychotherapy. I work with individuals under the assumption that they hold the answers they are looking for and are capable, under the right conditions (in the coaching environment) to realise this and take action. Rather than spending ample time delving into your past, coaching places greater focus on working with you to figure out how to take the right steps to improve your present and future. In order to do this, there is some acknowledgement of previous behaviours and experiences, as these are invaluable, but coaching is focused on helping you realise and achieve your goals, not resolve past trauma.
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present — Lao Tzu
How long will it take?
It’s completely dependent on you and your goals. Typically coaching occurs on weekly sessions for around 6 weeks, then on a 3-6 month basis to check-in if needed. Some clients find the answers they seek sooner, whilst others require longer, it’s very much a personal process.
If you think you could benefit from coaching, but are still unsure if it’s the right avenue for you get in touch for an initial consultation. What else are you doing today?