When’s the last time you tried something different?
How many times have you found yourself a few weeks into payday with fuck all to show for it but a few blurry photos, brain-tumour worthy hangovers, and a gut full of takeaways? The monotonous cycle of working your arse off Mon-Fri for money in a job you don’t enjoy only to spunk it all at the weekend is in itself a form of insanity. What would it look like to try something different?
A winner is a loser who tried more times – Jay Shetty
Who can honestly say that they’re satisfied and happy in all areas of their life? Most of us are dissatisfied with at least one area of our lives. We know there’s always room for improvement, but we also know we can get along fine just the way we are. This may be true for some, but did you know a common reason we rationalise in this way is that psychologically, change is uncomfortable. Whether or not the outcome is for the better, the unknown can be terrifying. Deep down though who wouldn’t really want to be more satisfied and happier? How much is not allowing yourself to be better costing you?
4 drivers, 3 d’s
As humans we have developed four common drives: to acquire, bond, learn, and defend. In this era that can look like the following: to have more stuff, to hook up with more Tinder dates, to listen to more Ted Talks, to justify our right to eat meat (my vegan husband made me add that one). These drives dictate our thoughts, feelings, and actions but when not satisfied cause us the 3 d’s – distress, discomfort and discontent. When put into context it makes sense why deep down we want to be better and outdo others or ourselves. Whether it’s through achievement or possessions it’s difficult to be happy as we are. So it would seem we’re fighting a losing battle – on the one hand we don’t want to change, but on the other we want more!
Coaching helps you to realise what is important to you, how best to achieve this and just as importantly actually enjoy your achievement once reached. Ever felt a strange dissatisfaction after getting what you thought you’d always wanted, or what you were convinced was going to make you happy?
Reasons to have a Life Coach
Typical reasons to have a Life Coach can be anything from very specific to completely abstract. Life coaching can help you:
- To clarify important areas in your life
- To evaluate how satisfied you are in these areas
- To figure out what you can to do to increase satisfaction
- To start doing it
- To be happier
- To satisfy your drives
- To enhance confidence
- To gain independence
- To achieve balance
- To enjoy your life
- To feel content
Looking for answers and results
If you’re looking for answers and results life coaching is for you, but you need to be prepared to do the work, and when you do you’ll find that you hold your own answers.
The benefits of life coaching are similar to the benefits of getting a personal trainer. Of course you can get a washboard stomach on your own, but it will be a lot harder, take considerably longer, or probably just won’t happen (if you’re like me). Many of us suffer from an on-going syndrome called laziness. As your life coach I’ll challenge and push (or shove) you out of your comfort zone holding you accountable for your actions, or lack thereof.
Some clients come to me already flush with motivation or drive, but simply feel as though they have exhausted all options or have burnt out for working too hard (yes these people exist). Coaching provides a space like no other to be listened to and really heard. No matter how self-reflective or proactive you may be, if you feel like something is missing or you can’t quite get where you want to be on your own – get a life coach. Even doctors need doctors. And life coaches definitely need life coaches.
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present — Lao Tzu
Life coaching isn’t therapy
Life coaching is not counselling or psychotherapy. Although if you discover that’s what you need we can discuss referring you on to the right person. I work with individuals under the assumption that they hold the answers they are looking for and are capable under the right conditions (in the coaching environment I create) to realise this and take action. Rather than spending a lot of time delving into your past, I will place greater focus on working with you to figure out how to take the right steps to improve your present and future. In order to do this there is some acknowledgement of previous behaviours and experiences (though you will not be invited to lay on my couch) as these are invaluable, but coaching is more focused on helping you realise and achieve your goals at a snappier pace than you would expect from therapy.
How long will it take?
It’s completely dependent on you and your goals (annoying non-definitive answer). However, typically I’d expect to see a client for a weekly session for around 6 weeks, then on a 3-6 month basis to check-in if needed. Some clients find the answers they seek sooner, and some take longer, it’s a personal process.
If you think you could benefit from coaching, but are still unsure if it’s the right avenue for you get in touch for an initial consultation. What else are you doing today?